


Because I cant forgive you for this

by the100fanfictions



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bell Comeon even Octavias pissed, Bellamys being a douche, Breakup, F/M, Oh my god clarke we love you dont worry sweetie, Your such a dick today Bell, not so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2681342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the100fanfictions/pseuds/the100fanfictions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are-Are you happy now?" she stuttered, holding back the tears as she saw the exposed hickey on Bellamy's neck, its purple color staring back at her.<br/>"Clarke im sorry..." he whispered, trying to put an arm around her, but she swatted him away with great force.</p>
<p>"Im sorry? IM SORRY?" She shouted the tears now falling freely down her face, Bellamy looked at her, a pain twisting in his gut, he had done this, he had hurt her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Clarke..." he murmured, squeezing her torso. "Yeah?" she whispered sleepily, trying to bury her head back into the pillows, she was not a morning person. 

"I love you." her warm comfortable body froze, she seemed to tense up. "You love me?" the words echoed in her mind, as she replayed all the times people had told her that, and then there death.

 

Flash Back- Jake Griffin

"Dad- dad no dont take him away from me!" she screamed, the guards holding her back as the tears streamed and fell to the floor, she screamed loudly, that half of the ark could probably hear her.

"Let her go..." Jaha murmured as the guards released her and she sprang into her dads arms. 

"Dont leave me dad- please please please!" he grabbed her hand, sliding his watch into her palm as she did so. 

"I love you kiddo." he looked into her eyes, he was trying to stay strong but the tears where slowly escaping. "That's enough." A rough guard grabbed him and dragged him away. 

"I love you" she whispered, and the lat time she saw him trying to say "I love you too" just before he was floated.

 

Flash Back- Abby Griffin

She didnt realize it at the time, but as she turned the radio off, hearing her mum scream "Wait Clarke! Please - I love you-" would be the last time she heard her voice. The last time she heard Abby Griffin her only parent left was after she had screamed at her, for killing the one person in the world she loved the most. As Bellamy held her in his arms her heart sank to the ground, smashing into thousands of pieces she was now alone, and no one was coming to help them.

 

He sighed loudly, roughly pulling the covers off both of them, the once comfortable bed lay cold from where he used to lay. 

"Oh bellamy come on! Its just-"  
"You know how hard it is for me ok? Yet I tell you I love you and you brush it off like it was nothing?" he shouted, half the camp could probably hear them outside. 

"Bellamy people can hear-" 

"Ohhh So now you care? Because your in the wrong and im calling you out now you care? Well when you shout at me- ridiculing me in the middle of camp why dont I tell you to be quiet?" 

She hadn't meant to cause an argument, but now he had added fuel to the fire, she knew she was probably in the wrong but he wasn't even listening.

"Well excuse me! Its not my fault if I have to ridicule you when you make reckless decisions because you dont care about anyone but yourself!" he looked at her, his brow creased in frustration as she knew she struck a nerve.

"I just told you I loved you and now I dont care about anyone but myself? Maybe I should just sleep with someone else then? You obviously dont care about me, so why should I care about you? I'm going to remind you I could have anyone in this camp Clarke and you?" he lightly chuckled to himself. "You cant have anybody." He looked her in the eye darkly.

"Who says exactly?" she jabbed him in the chest. 

"I said Clarke, besides I have better offers anyway, this was a mere... charity case." he laughed, this relationship which had been going on for a year (which was more like 10 years here) has meant nothing to him?

He stalked out the tent, barking orders at anyone who dared to look at him.

And she ran, the entire camp following her with there eyes she ran, out of the tent and out of the camp and they all knew no one dared to follow her.

 

 

She arrived back at night fall, greeted with hugs from Jasper, monty muttering something about "I would hurt him, but I know he would hurt me more..." and Octavia giving her pitying looks and hugging her gently, as if a newborn baby. She told them all she was fine but they all knew she was anything but.

 

She behind a large oak tree, it hid her from most angles and had a perfect view of the moonlight. Usually she came here to draw but that day she came there to be alone, and cry. She slowly looked around behind the tree, most people talking in hushed whispers and watching Bellamy as he took a cute red head into his bed, the bed they slept in, the bed they got together, and the bed where she finally let herself fall for Bellamy Blake. 

 

He appeared about an hour later, she was still slumped against her tree, where she thought no one knew about but Bellamy found her instantly. The moonlight catching his best features she was almost going to admire himself in this light, untill the moonlight hit something that made all the pain and memories from the last hour flood back again.

"Are-Are you happy now?" she stuttered, holding back the tears as she saw the exposed hickey on Bellamy's neck, its purple color staring back at her.  
"Clarke im sorry..." he whispered, trying to put an arm around her, but she swatted him away with great force.

"Im sorry? IM SORRY?" She shouted the tears now falling freely down her face, Bellamy looked at her, a pain twisting in his gut, he had done this, he had hurt her.

"It was only a hickey- it- It didnt go further than that." he mumbled.

"I saw her going into your tent! I saw that happen an hour ago, and I saw as she led her to the only place I felt safe! Im not an idiot Bellamy! You were gone alot longer than one hickey!" she jabbed him with her finger, which soon turned into hitting his chest, she cried, she cried loudly as she slowed her pace, her fists slowly slumping. She leaned against the bark, slowly caving and wrapping her arms aroung her knees and as she looked up at him, her eyes staring holes inside him. Her eyes where move vibrant than ever but the tears made them look faded all the same, the pain was clear on her face as she whispered, her throat dry and hoarse. 

"Everyone whoever told me they loved me died..." he was about to say something but Octavia came, giving him the glare of a lifetime as she shook her head.

Octavia stayed with her that night, and she let Clarke cry.

"Look at me... im so weak..." she whispered.

"Hey- Clarke... People who cry aren't weak, they've simple been strong for far too long..." 

Notes: Was this sad? I hope it was. I hope I made you cry. I doubt it BUT I CAN DREAM. I will probably continue this so if you have any suggestions or lovely comments then I will respond and love you!


	2. Chapter 2

After Octavia guided her to her tent, she stayed the night and made sure she was ok, because thats what friends do and after losing Bellamy she needed so many friends to fill the gaping hole in her chest.

But she was done with all the crying and she had enough of the pitying looks, today she was going to be strong, and no one was going to stop that.

Well that's what she told herself anyway but as she went to step out the tent, Bellamy was in front of her.   

"Bellamy Im buisy Im going on the hunting trip." she tried to push him aside but he blocked her way again.

"Clarke... Im sorry I wasnt thinking straight-" He mumbled looking guilty.

"No! You know what Im not that girl you will not string me along and then fuck some girl and want me back no, sorry but this charity case is closed!" she shouted back at him and this time he didnt re block her was when she pushed him. 

"Clarke wait you know I didnt mean it-" he sighed, looking defeated as she joined the hunting trip as they all gaver her looks of sympathy.

 

It was meant to be a normal hunting trip, a release oh all her pent up anger and emotion, it wasnt supposed to turn out like this.

_FlashBack_

_"Jesus Clarke maybe we should make you angry all the time if your gonna catch this much food." Miller smiled, which cheered her up immensely._

_She had so far caught a deer and 2 rabbits, she alone with the deer could feed a majority of camp as well as everyone else's food they where going to feast tonight._

_She had began walking to the river, trying to see where some of the red seaweed she might need for scrapes had grown around yet, Miller had just caught up with her when she heard him._

_"Clarke! CLARKE! Run!" Miller screamed, as she turned around she saw a spear fly towards her, heading straight to her stomach._

He had just finished with one of the houses, he knew he had made some really shitty mistakes as he contemplated the last two days. Clarke deserved better and he was afraid that he would never be able to give her that.

Because to him I love you meant so much more than the three words where meant to say, I love you was meant to say I care about you, I need you, but it meant a whole lot more to him than anyone would ever understand.

I love you meant I will always have your back, I will never hurt you, I will never let anything hurt you,  _I would sacrifice myself for you._

But she didnt say it back, and love was very complicated he didnt understand everything but he knew with Clarke it felt  _right._

But it hurt him to think that he wanted to give her the world, (On second thought he didnt want to give her the world, because earth was a harsh dark place no matter its beauty he could never wish it upon anyone, the world was a dark place meant for sinners, and by god who would wish this hell upon anyone?) he wanted to give her more than he ever would but he didnt understand- if he had known about everything then he wouldn't have gone of with the red head, he led her to his bed. It never felt right, where Clarke was once under him a new body was, she was to thin, and tall, nothing like Clarke, however red was the closest he could get to blonde and he thought he could just pretened it was her, but he couldn't. 

 

"MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" He heard miller shout, he ran to the gate 'Dont panic she was on that hunting trip but its fine shes smart she wont be hurt your just assuming the worse-' and then he saw his worse nightmare.

Clarke was on millers shoulder, an increasing amount of blood escaping the large spear pressed into her stomach.

"No-no-no-no!" he shouted, pushing anyone and everyone out of his way. 

She couldn't die she wasn't ALLOWED to die on him, not today  _not ever._

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

It all blurred together at once- there was the blood.  _So. Much. BLOOD._

There was the shouting- oh the loud shouting coming from every direction...

" _Where losing her!" "Shes losing to much blood!" "We cant help her-"_

There was the panic the panic seemed to be everywhere, Jasper was sat in the recovery position , trying to learn how to breathe again while Bellamy leaned against the wall, not caring about being strong any more because this was  _Clarke._

And then there was the smallest sign of relief. 

"Bell she stable. But still in critical condition- well thats what Lincoln says, honestly... Im not sure shes going to make it Bell-"

"I wont hear that Octavia, until I feel a silent pulse I will not believe she is dead, understand?" 

He shouldn't have been so harsh, Octavia was close to Clarke to, it wasn't fair to do that but right now he wasn't sure he could care he had bigger issues on his mind.

Eventually one by one they left, all except Bellamy, and of course spacewalker...

"You know you've got to stop trying. She's mine." he muttered to Finn, staring darkly at him , the daggers could almost be seen in his eyes.

"Big words from a man who cheated on her then called her a charity case." He spat back, full of venom.

All he could do was see red, the punch seemed to make his hand numb but he had apparently broken several fingers.but he couldn't care.

 

 

Octavia went in one day, she didnt come out for a long long time, it seemed almost for hours, but it could have only been a few minutes, Octavia was pretty good at the doctor thing now (of course only with lincolns assistance) so Lincoln went with her.

"She wants to see you..." Octavia looked sad (Lincoln looked pretty passive but he was some pain placed in his dark eyes too) , the pain written across her face yet she should be so happy... Why wasn't she happy?

He walked in and although the sight of Clarke alive and well should have been comforting, what he saw before him made something sink deep within his stomach.

She was crying, curled up into a ball she looked like she was trying to protect herself from the world, (but then again, most did, the nightmares plagued most camp mates sleep, often fighting and kicking in there beds).

"Clarke?" his voice sounded alot more vulnerable than he meant it too.

"Im sorry Bella-" a sob wracked through her body as she sobbed, he quickly cradled her in his arms trying to soothe his beautiful princess.

"I- I lost it-" she cried harder, leaving a confused Bellamy to try figure out what she meant.

"I-" she took a deep breath trying to contain herself. 

"I didnt tell you I just- I was looking for the right moment and-"

"I lost our baby." the tears where brimming in his own eyes, which only made Clarke cry more.

"I just- how can it cause me so much pain- it was here one minute and the next-" he quickly shushed her, rocking her back and forth lulling her into a sleep.

He didnt realized he wanted a baby, but now he had lost one and all the pain- he realized it was the one thing buried deep in his mind he didnt realize he needed yet somewhere in the pit of his soul he knew... but he had bigger issues right now, and he just wanted to make Clarke happy.

 

 

He knew he couldnt earn her full trust back- Probably ever. But she was walming up to him each and every day.

 _Baby steps..._ He reminded himself.

But that was ok, because he loved her and that was ok.

Because she was ok.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
